Hangin' Out With Dangerous D
TC and Shitfoot have become pretty good pals with Dangerous D. After he was hired in here both of those guys kind of took D under their protective wings so to speak. Why I have no idea. That's cool, I guess. Although I have to be honest and say I really don't like being around the little jerk so I don't understand how they could handle it. Maybe they feel sorry for him. I was talking with TC the other day about some of his adventures hanging around with Dangerous D. I got a few stories out of him... heh.
Dangerous D, Shitfoot and I planned to take a trip to Lake Tahoe to go skiing. We agreed to meet at my house the night before around 11PM. I think we got to sleep at 2AM after much drinking, and slept until 4AM. We left Rohnert Park and reached Interstate 80 about 7AM. At that time, Shitfoot reached in the ice chest and pulled out a Lagunitas beer. I know from experience that these are hellish beers that contain a lot of yeast that produce a lot of gas. He proceeded to drink a couple until Sacramento where he went back to sleep. Dangerous D and I started to notice odor coming from the rear of the car as we started up into the Sierras. I could see in the rear view mirror that Shitfoot was horizontal in the back seat. These were nasty farts. We all know the beer farts are so pungent that they stay in your pants. All it takes is a small movement of your butt to reconstitute them back into the air. I pushed the lockout for the electric windows so that Shitfoot couldn't mess with them and lowered the back windows. Shitfoot yelled out. It was about 25 degrees outside and he was freezing. Dangerous D and I had the heater on full blast up front so we didn’t notice the cold. Shitfoot was freezing in the back seat. I was going to make Shitfoot pay for this. We drove the rest of the way with the back windows open.
Dangerous D has never been skiing. I have to admit that DD wasn't afraid to take a challenge. When you rent your skis at a ski resort, they ask you what kind of a skier you are. When I went in line I said that I was an intermediate. Dangerous D was right behind me and said the same. I knew then that we were in trouble. We left the lodge and went to put on our skis. Dangerous D had a problem just standing up. I finally took off my skis and helped him over to the chair lift. The lift was a 4-person lift. I put on my skis and helped him in line. As it happened, there was Dangerous D, me, and 2 strangers to go on one chair. In the front of us 1 person was alone waiting for the chair. This old man must have been around 60. When the chair came around for the person in front of us, Dangerous D advanced when he should have waited. This old man looked back and Dangerous D is sitting in his spot in the chair. Dangerous D and his skis knocked him to the side. The operator immediately shut down the chair and rescued the man from the ditch next to the lift. When I got to the top of the lift, I waited for the man, and I apologized for my friend's actions. Dangerous D skied on, oblivious at the mayhem he had caused.
One day Shitfoot and I decided to turn Dangerous D on to a local pizza joint called Old Chicago in Petaluma. Since he was from Kansas we wanted to show him some local good eats. We piled into Shitfoot's car and headed to Petaluma. Since Dangerous D was new to the area Shitfoot and I agreed that we would pay the tab, and he would only pay for the tip. After the waitress sat us at the table we ordered some beer. Actually, we ordered several pitchers of beer and pizza. The waitress was very nice. When we were full from the beer and pizza, we decided to leave. Shitfoot and I paid the bill. Dangerous D stood up and said, "nO tipP, BaAD sServISe." I thought he was joking so I didn't say anything. We got up to leave and the waitress started taking our dishes. As Dangerous D left out the door I realized that he was serious. I felt bad so I chased the waitress down and dropped her a $10, apologizing for my friend. Dangerous D walked out ahead of us with our leftovers in a container. As we walked behind him we saw him talking to a homeless person. The homeless person asked, "Can I have some food?" Dangerous D, with food in hand, said no, and then turned his head and barfed on the sidewalk. Dangerous D looked at us and said, "WhERE aRe weE goINg GUys?"
Dangerous D got dropped at his doorway that night. Another lesson learned.
Dangerous D, Shitfoot and I planned to take a trip to Lake Tahoe to go skiing. We agreed to meet at my house the night before around 11PM. I think we got to sleep at 2AM after much drinking, and slept until 4AM. We left Rohnert Park and reached Interstate 80 about 7AM. At that time, Shitfoot reached in the ice chest and pulled out a Lagunitas beer. I know from experience that these are hellish beers that contain a lot of yeast that produce a lot of gas. He proceeded to drink a couple until Sacramento where he went back to sleep. Dangerous D and I started to notice odor coming from the rear of the car as we started up into the Sierras. I could see in the rear view mirror that Shitfoot was horizontal in the back seat. These were nasty farts. We all know the beer farts are so pungent that they stay in your pants. All it takes is a small movement of your butt to reconstitute them back into the air. I pushed the lockout for the electric windows so that Shitfoot couldn't mess with them and lowered the back windows. Shitfoot yelled out. It was about 25 degrees outside and he was freezing. Dangerous D and I had the heater on full blast up front so we didn’t notice the cold. Shitfoot was freezing in the back seat. I was going to make Shitfoot pay for this. We drove the rest of the way with the back windows open.
Dangerous D has never been skiing. I have to admit that DD wasn't afraid to take a challenge. When you rent your skis at a ski resort, they ask you what kind of a skier you are. When I went in line I said that I was an intermediate. Dangerous D was right behind me and said the same. I knew then that we were in trouble. We left the lodge and went to put on our skis. Dangerous D had a problem just standing up. I finally took off my skis and helped him over to the chair lift. The lift was a 4-person lift. I put on my skis and helped him in line. As it happened, there was Dangerous D, me, and 2 strangers to go on one chair. In the front of us 1 person was alone waiting for the chair. This old man must have been around 60. When the chair came around for the person in front of us, Dangerous D advanced when he should have waited. This old man looked back and Dangerous D is sitting in his spot in the chair. Dangerous D and his skis knocked him to the side. The operator immediately shut down the chair and rescued the man from the ditch next to the lift. When I got to the top of the lift, I waited for the man, and I apologized for my friend's actions. Dangerous D skied on, oblivious at the mayhem he had caused.
One day Shitfoot and I decided to turn Dangerous D on to a local pizza joint called Old Chicago in Petaluma. Since he was from Kansas we wanted to show him some local good eats. We piled into Shitfoot's car and headed to Petaluma. Since Dangerous D was new to the area Shitfoot and I agreed that we would pay the tab, and he would only pay for the tip. After the waitress sat us at the table we ordered some beer. Actually, we ordered several pitchers of beer and pizza. The waitress was very nice. When we were full from the beer and pizza, we decided to leave. Shitfoot and I paid the bill. Dangerous D stood up and said, "nO tipP, BaAD sServISe." I thought he was joking so I didn't say anything. We got up to leave and the waitress started taking our dishes. As Dangerous D left out the door I realized that he was serious. I felt bad so I chased the waitress down and dropped her a $10, apologizing for my friend. Dangerous D walked out ahead of us with our leftovers in a container. As we walked behind him we saw him talking to a homeless person. The homeless person asked, "Can I have some food?" Dangerous D, with food in hand, said no, and then turned his head and barfed on the sidewalk. Dangerous D looked at us and said, "WhERE aRe weE goINg GUys?"
Dangerous D got dropped at his doorway that night. Another lesson learned.
posted by factory_peasant at 10:19 PM
4 Comments:
memories....BRRRRRRRRR *shiver*
damn that really was a cold ride.
i had to keep farting just to keep warm! both you fuckers laffed at
me the whole time i was freezing too...feh!
when you look in the dictionary for the meaning of cheapskate, you see a pic of dangerous D. damn that boy hated tipping almost as much as he hated to wash his hands after using the toilet... # 1 OR # 2 *dirty boy*
Dangerous D had "free" food in his hand. Denying a homeless man with food that you did not pay for is the ultimate cheap bastard. Still, he was fun to be around......sometimes. Entertaining if nothing else.
TC
Wad, that's what most people assume. anyone with a disability is generally pretty cool and needs extra help doing stuff. socially people will go out of their way to assist an individual like Dangerous D. he knew this and instead of being grateful he counted on it and played anyone who lended him a hand as a sucker.
I agree. There are some pretty cool handicap people but I have also found that some are so use to having everything handed to them that they just expect it. It is like they are entitled. Reading through these DD logs I get the impression this guy has been spoon fed all his life and not only expects it to continue but hasn't got a clue about what the real world is like.
JP
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