1.20.2004

I did not read your message. Reason - I did not want any more turmoil in my head. Mom is enough for me to deal with, and all that I can handle.

I promised your sister that I would not write you anymore, and this is a violation of that promise. I will have to tell her.

I guess that you sent someone out to our house to investigate something. Turned out to be a very nice lady, and we invited her in for coffee. She actually connected me with some sources of day care.

If I can repeat myself - your mother is not being abused, and I will allow you any private access to Mom to decide for yourself. Please consider this. Your not talking with Mom, other than a few seconds on her Birthday is very hard on her.

We are up to our ears in many areas. I have retained a very expensive Attorney, only to help us with Mom's qualifying for Medicaid. Nothing More ! I did mention that there may be some future "War" within the family. His suggestion - Better for all, especially Mom to smoke the family "Peace Pipe". I saw some wisdom in that, and especially for Mom's sake.

Mom is quite frantic over the possibility of a family feud ( court ) and is more than upset. She asked me to call your Aunt ( for her )a week or so ago, and I should have been smarter than that. It was dumb on my part, as all she did was get hysterical and cry. I then get on the phone and your Aunt jumps on me.

I have no interest in bothering your Aunt and Uncle. I do jog a different route, now due to the Winter and dangerous streets. That route is now shorter, and I had used two Cul de Sacs, to lengthen the run. Theirs was one. I have stopped going in there, as I never intended on confronting your Aunt or bothering her. I saw her a couple of times, and never looked at her or said a word, or made eye contact. I now bypass her Cul de Sac, and use the next one.

The next year or so, maybe two, will take every ounce of strength that I have to get Mom through and maybe one day into a home. The money that I managed to save for Mom, has already come in handy, as the Attorney was very expensive $5500 - up front.

I don't know what your current plans are, and my/our life is too messed up to consider other things. I hope that the "Peace Pipe" is something that can be considered for Mom's sake.

Your Aunt aksed us to move, and I actually considered that, and sought out a Real Estate agent. I do not like it here. The agent however, showed me in black and white that this area was the worst choice of all. Our appreciation on the home has been very little if anything, and would take a minimum of six months to possibly sell. We are stuck.

I do not wish to be in anyone's face, or bother anyone (including you ) with our plight, and problems. I will do the best that I can. Your sister has asked to be in the middle of all of this and I am informing her of everything. The Attorney advised against changing the Power of Attorney to someone else due to Mom's not even being able to write a decent "X" at this point. So, her competency now, is actually in question. The Attorney suggested the "Peace Pipe" and having whatever family members included in all decisions. That includes you.

I am still waiting for a registered nurse up here, to give me a list of day care people ( I will call her today ) that are qualified to care for Mom. The lady from the agency you called, sent a packet of information on day care. She is a very nice lady. The weather up here has been just awful, and even if I were free to do so, not much to do. Snow, and ice.

Maybe you and your sister can talk more often, and my standing offer of a free round trip plane ticket still stands for either you or her.

Dad