Homemade Stink
Ever find yourself comfortably sleeping soundly and then suddenly you're jarred awake because of something that smelled bad? Something that smelled really rowdy and not in a good way? Before this morning I had never been in a situation like that. I was in a deep sleep and then fumes from the kitchen downstairs traveled through the house into my nostrils burning nosehairs along the way. Honestly I haven't sniffed anything that bad ever and it woke me the fuck up. I didn't know what was causing the horrible stench but I had a pretty good idea who was the cause.
While I was asleep Dangerous D's mother must have been cooking some traditional Guatemalan food only a Guatemalan could love. Whatever that hot crap was on my stove, or smoldering in the oven my kitchen was going to have to be fumigated with WD-40 and a lighter before I'd use any of the appliances again. I didn't bother to go downstairs and see for myself what the hell was going on. Instead I grumbled about it and opened my bedroom window for some fresh air and tried to go back to sleep.
I hate my room mate.
Dangerous D arrived home late last night from his lowbrow family camping trip. Obviously I couldn't bitch at him with his folks here so I let things slide again. His family is heading back to Kansas either today or tomorrow. This wasn't as bad a situation as it could have been. D could have really used my house like a Motel 6 during the past week but his family was only actually here at the house for a couple of days. That means I won't yell at him a whole lot, and instead of killing him outright maybe I'll settle for punching him real hard.
While I was asleep Dangerous D's mother must have been cooking some traditional Guatemalan food only a Guatemalan could love. Whatever that hot crap was on my stove, or smoldering in the oven my kitchen was going to have to be fumigated with WD-40 and a lighter before I'd use any of the appliances again. I didn't bother to go downstairs and see for myself what the hell was going on. Instead I grumbled about it and opened my bedroom window for some fresh air and tried to go back to sleep.
I hate my room mate.
Dangerous D arrived home late last night from his lowbrow family camping trip. Obviously I couldn't bitch at him with his folks here so I let things slide again. His family is heading back to Kansas either today or tomorrow. This wasn't as bad a situation as it could have been. D could have really used my house like a Motel 6 during the past week but his family was only actually here at the house for a couple of days. That means I won't yell at him a whole lot, and instead of killing him outright maybe I'll settle for punching him real hard.
posted by factory_peasant at 4:08 PM
19 Comments:
Anthony,
I figured you would be reading this particular story so I wanted to let you (and everyone) know the next time you tell me there is something wrong with your computer, it better be working and not have the line socket yanked out of the wall.
I estimate by tomorrow your line will be fixed and until you post, I share what happened with these slices on the 4th, you know how you caught the canopy on fire with your fireworks and how C-Ment saved the rest of the side yard from catching fire while you split and was no where to be found.
If you pull that crap with me again, I will continue to talk about this with everyone here. Do you understand?
Skeez
WORD!
huh?
TC
what a d00fus. run toni run. how much loot do you spend on pc supplies?????
Gunter glieben glauchen globen
All right
Tony's got something to say
Yeah, it's better to burn the canopy
Yeah, than let it fade away
All right
Ow Gonna start a fire
C'mon!
Rise up! gather round
Burn this canopy to the ground
Burn it up let's go for broke
Watch the night go up in smoke
Burn on! Burn on!
Tony's gettin'crazier, no serenade
No fire brigade, just Pyromania
What do you want? What do you want?
Tony wants fireworks, yes he does
Long live fireworks
Oh let's go, let's strike a light
We're gonna blow like dynamite
I don't care if it takes all night
Gonna set this canopy alight
What do you want? What do you want?
Tony wants fireworks, All right!
Long live fireworks
(Chorus)
Canopy of ages, canopy of ages
Start burnin', keep a-burnin'
Canopy of ages, canopy of ages
Start burnin', keep'a-burnin'
Tonys got the matches, got the lighter
Just say you need it and if you need it
Say yeah!
Heh heh heh heh
Now listen to Tony
He's Burnin', Burnin', He's got the fever
I know for sure, there ain't no cure
So feel it, don't fight it, go with the flow
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme one more for the road
What do you want? What do you want?
Tony wants fireworks, You betcha
Long live fireworks
[Repeat Chorus]
Tony's gonna burn this damn canopy down
Down to the ground
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh....look at Tony running away.
s1,,
you aint funny just plane dum.my comp is workin so you just stick to writin crazy,,,boomer you one sad fool who still cant rhime i dont even understand what the fuk you talkin bout thats why your shit is weak
SKEEZ,,,pleez dont dis me like that in frontof boomer and his hanchmen.you didnt call me back and i dont know why i need to write to you on here and why you cant call me back.the 4th of july wasnt my fault what went down,,dude who i got the rockits from gave me defectave ones so it aint my fault.i wasnt there when the rockit exploded into the roof cuz i didnt want the heat to see me thats why i was in the front.you got the story wrong homes,,call me soon and ill explane what went down and come by saysars tomorraw ill hook you yup wid lunch and get you in to benditos-aight,,pleez.i dont want to write on here to talk with you and we need to talk.
boomer,,,ill let you suck some stick and then ill help you width your rhimes cuz you is awfull.
A-man
I have a question for you toni: What makes you so sure Boomer is Canopy of Ages? Are you that paranoid of him that you associate every anonymous or new post to be Boomer's? I suppose if I was in your shoes I would be paranoid too.
Shoelaces
shoelaces,,,
so you writed that post.your a worser rhimer then boomer is.i gots a question for you,,,why you gotta suck on his stick all the FREEKIN time,,,suck on mine then ill teach you how to rhime so you wont look so dam sily all the dam time.i knew boomer told you to write that cuz he cant and now you proved you cant.i cold busted you and boomer
A-man
reeding gorfies like a torn phonebook
It's quite simple actually, shoelaces. You see in Tony's little, little brain there are only three people on the entire world wide web:tony(mybitch), his friend skeez, and me. So all the anons and even the people who sign there shit must be me.
Now I got a little piece of free advice for you mummble mouth tony. First if you are going to accuse someone you better be certain you are correct before you call them out. Second if you do decide to call someone out then you better be prepared for the beating you are about to take. That's free for you this time my four legged friend.
Now tony its obvious you still don't understand what I was talking about when I made the rhyming statement. I suggest you go back and read it before you make yourself look even more like a complete dumbass.....oops too late you are already a complete dumbass, nevermind.
Boomer
Ever hear the old saying, "Ceasar played the fiddle while Rome burned."? Well Tony was cuttin' n mixn' while the canopy burned.
boomer,,,,
WHy are you writin crap,,,you aint all that and week
Thanks my bitch.
Boomer
Tony's new name is mush mouth mulligan.
boomer,,
its late you beter got yo nonrhiming,carton name using ass to bed remeber you gots to get up and start the grils at macdonalds and then suck on some sticks before you get to the window.
Thanks my bitch.
Boomer
Tony can't understand why feltching is not an olympic sport, he would surely bring home the gold.
im mixin tonite,,what you doin?oo thats rite livin in the comp world while ill be tearin up cuts and hollarin at the ladies,,dont write back and LEAVE ME ALONE,,im sick of you and yo dumas stories and week rhimes,,you look bad homie,,here come my boys im out while you still here,,I FEEL LIKE PUNCHIN SOMENE OUT,,i dont care if you write because i m out and you are there
thanks my gorfie for all the week as rhimes tonite,,
dont foget to were yo hat remember last time you got in trouble for not havin a uniform and you got caught takin fries from macdonalds and gettin all order messed and mixed up,,,
Thanks my bithc.
Boomer
Tony my life motto is simple. Always look out for number one, and try not to step in tony.
Tony,
I don't know who Canopy of Ages is, but I'm pretty sure it isn't Boomer. If you're really curious, I suggest researching British rock bands with one armed drummers and narrowing it down from there. You may want to have Skeez type it into the search engine or finally calibrate that Blackberry or whatever it is, because google got confused when I typed in:
"bRittus rok bnds wit won armd dromer".
Please report back to us on what your research yields.
benny blanco from brooklyn (I moved)
Anthony
I knew something went down (on this message board)that set you off last night. Sho nuff these slices on here made you look like a fool. I don't know how else to put this but that was messed up what you did last night and left Thrilla and C-ment taking the fall when you were the one that started the shit.
So you moved on from kicking things to bum rushing the DJ table and when the boys backed you up you took off. Thrilla and Cment have some serious charges on them. How is it that they have assault and battery, mayhem, instigating a riot and assaulting a staff employee charges on them when it was you who they were helping and you got only a urinating in public citation a couple blocks away from the club? And whats the squirt gun you were trying to pass off as packing heat?
You know how I found out? I was the one who had to post bail thats how. I am going to leave it at that and all I have to say is that if you write one post on here, I will personally give these slices more info about you so they can continue to make you look like an idiot.
You WILL pay for any damages that happened. You have some serious issues and need to take care of them because the shit that went down in NYC, the 4th, and especially last night has got people upset with you. You've gone for aight to bad in a few months and is all of it worth it? IThink about it...
Skeez
laff,
toni be packin a toy gun in his crotch to make it look like he has a peepee. toni, just squat to pee like last nite f00. you do that all the time.
$h|t_foot
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