8.29.1997
Just got back here from work. It's a little after one in the morning. I am scared shitless I won't have enough money to afford moving in someplace else next month so I've been working as much overtime as I can. Problem is, our customer orders for the product family I'm working on have completely dropped off the scale this week. There's just nothing to do, so there won't be overtime available. This is going to force me to do something rather drastic. I'm going to go back to TDS and see if they can use me on their dayshift. If I get back in with them I'll be working a minimum of 16 hour days. I don't know if I will be able to handle working a full shift at TDS in the daytime and then work my normal swing shift hours at Bill and Dave's. I don't know what else to do.
Jennifer is here and awake actually, which was a surprise. She had to let me in the house tonight because I couldn't get the security screen door unlocked. For some reason the key was jammed up in the deadbolt. After I thanked her for opening up the door I scurried into my room. These days I'm trying to avoid her as much as she's been trying to avoid me. Jennifer probably prefers it that way. Before heading off to the factory this afternoon I packed up all my books and most of my video game shit. I jettisoned my stacks of trade magazines and technical journals. I didn't want to do it but I have to lighten my load significantly to move fast when an opportunity presents itself. I tossed out a couple years worth of Evaluation Engineering, Laser Focus World, Defense News, and others.
My ears are ringing and my noggin is starting to feel heavy so I guess it's time for bed. The doctor gave me these teeny-tiny sleeping pills and they work well enough. I can tell when they start to kick in because I can hear a faint ringing noise in my ears. If I didn't have them I'd be lying awake every night dwelling on what has happened here with Jennifer. I have a serious problem letting go of things that upset me. What I have to try to do is realize that I can't control much in life, and I must roll with it instead of trying to fight it. Fighting it only makes everything much worse in the short term.
Jennifer is here and awake actually, which was a surprise. She had to let me in the house tonight because I couldn't get the security screen door unlocked. For some reason the key was jammed up in the deadbolt. After I thanked her for opening up the door I scurried into my room. These days I'm trying to avoid her as much as she's been trying to avoid me. Jennifer probably prefers it that way. Before heading off to the factory this afternoon I packed up all my books and most of my video game shit. I jettisoned my stacks of trade magazines and technical journals. I didn't want to do it but I have to lighten my load significantly to move fast when an opportunity presents itself. I tossed out a couple years worth of Evaluation Engineering, Laser Focus World, Defense News, and others.
My ears are ringing and my noggin is starting to feel heavy so I guess it's time for bed. The doctor gave me these teeny-tiny sleeping pills and they work well enough. I can tell when they start to kick in because I can hear a faint ringing noise in my ears. If I didn't have them I'd be lying awake every night dwelling on what has happened here with Jennifer. I have a serious problem letting go of things that upset me. What I have to try to do is realize that I can't control much in life, and I must roll with it instead of trying to fight it. Fighting it only makes everything much worse in the short term.
posted by factory_peasant at 8:52 AM
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