8.10.1992

Last night I tried to break things off with Jacinda. I have a really bad feeling about what's going on at her place and why she's lost a couple of her part time jobs. There's no way for me to know for sure if I'm just being paranoid or if she's up to some sort of mischief. I really would like to figure it out but something is telling me I should get out now before things become even more messed up. The sad thing is I really do care about her.

My breakup attempt didn't go very well. I wanted to leave things alone for a few days to let the dust settle and I had hoped it would make things easier for both of us. As usual, I was wrong. Jacinda is really impatient. I spent a couple of hours talking to her and I felt like I got nowhere. The only thing I feel good about is that I was honest with her. Jacinda became overdramatic and threatened to kill herself if I left her. I don't think she would actually do anything like that. Regardless I felt like a damn fool when she said it. How was I supposed to react? What could I say? I felt like a real sack of crap.

I'd stay with Jacinda for the long term if I knew for certain she wasn't still fooling around with her ex or doing some drugs. Like I said I have a bad feeling about what she's up to. I don't have any real proof of wrongdoing on her part but it's all so suspicious. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm reading too much into things and I'm just being a freak. Still I have a gut feeling things are about to go real bad on me if I stay with her much longer. What to do? I'm very confused.