Focus

Car shopping during the past two weeks has been fun. It isn't at all like I expected it would be. I anticipated salespeople at dealerships would be trying to swindle me at every step of the way, but they've actually been low key. No pressure. Most of the dealerships let me wander around by myself to explore and told me to come bug them if I had any questions. Climbing in and out of their vehicles messing with stuff has been cool. I hit all of the major Japanese automakers and most domestic manufacturers. Here's what I found out.

Toyota has two kinds of cars I zeroed in on, the new Celica and their sedans. Celicas look kind of girly. I didn't fit inside them comfortably though even with the driver's seat pegged all the way to the back. They cost more than I wanted to spend on average with the base models lacking any real options or features. Visibility out the rear window was poor, cluttered. I decided Celicas weren't for me. They're in the same category as the Acura RSX in that the cuteness factor is too high, too foofy. Toyota Celicas are girl cars and I can't take any dude seriously if he steps out of one. Just like the RSX. Toyota's sedans were also a disappointment. I had to cram myself in behind the steering wheel. Visibility was far better than the Celica of course but again cost was a factor and base models had little in the way of creature comforts. I crossed Toyota off my list.

Out of all American made cars, Chevrolet had to be the absolute worst. Boring ass bland corny lookin' flimsy P.O.S. vehicles all the way around that only a mullet wearing toothless dumbshit with a healthy beer gut could love. I don't know what GM's fucking problem is but they can't get anything right. Just like Ford, they haven't put out a truly solid ride since the late 1960s. I've had a few of their products from back then and they were rockin'. Someday, when Chevrolet finally has something worth a shit maybe I'll seriously consider their offerings.

Saturn was never an option. Those cars are entirely retarded.

Mazda had the new Protege 5 sedan. Since Mazda is one-fifth owned by Ford my employee discount would work with them, but it was about one-fifth as good a price break. Nevertheless I hopped in a few of their cars to see what was going on. Like Toyotas they were on the small side which didn't work well for me. I really liked the instrument cluster though. The speedometer and tach had a white background with black lettering that reminded me of being in a race car. For the money, I could get one of these with a manual transmission and a tape deck. That was about it. I put them down as a definite maybe. The rest of their vehicle lineup didn't suit me.

Honda has a reputation for long lasting durability. I spent little time investigating their whole vehicle line. Nothing jumped out at me. Their body styles strike me as purely utilitarian, boring. I did fit better inside most of their stuff though. Perhaps Japanese who buy Hondas are slightly taller than average. Kekekekeke!

Chrysler sucks.

Volkswagen is poo. They are notorious for having tons of expensive mechanical problems, bugs, and performance issues. Plus those Nazi bastards brought back the beetle which I've hated consistently since I reached the old age of 4. Unforgivable. The curse of freeway systems since World War II, those stinking noisy air cooled overgrown lawnmowers infested with dirtbags had no reason to EVER be updated into a new-fangled fuel injected traffic roadblock. I hereby decree all VWs as soon as they come off a production line anywhere in the world should immediately be transported to the nearest scrapyard and summarily crushed. Amen.

Wandering through remaining various dealerships I finally made it to the last stop... Ford. Everything in their lineup was fairly boring sort of on par with Chevrolet. However, they did have a slightly larger version of their European hatchback called the KA available. I'd seen the KA advertised in a British magazine a year or two before and thought they looked pretty good. At the time I was angry because it seems like American automakers frequently have more interesting vehicles for sale but you can't get them Stateside. They're for the Euro market only. Weak. The larger US version of the KA was named Focus. A rather dumb name but whatever.

Hauling myself into a Focus sedan driver's seat I was surprised. I not only fit with plenty of room to stretch out, but I could see everything. The visibility was amazing. With the employee discount I could get one of these little suckers fully loaded. Cruise control, automatic transmission, 6 disc CD player, air conditioning, side impact air bags, and a power moon roof. Damn. It would cost far less than a comparable Japanese sedan with no extras. I took one of 'em for a test drive. That was when I appreciated the visibility. It was like driving a sliding glass door. Very different from driving the Cougar which after a Focus test drive seemed like I was inside a concrete bunker looking out through a gun hatch.

So I bought a blue one. Gave 'em a five thousand dollar down payment and used the Ford corporate employee discount plan. The whole deal was so reasonable that even if I get laid off from work soon I think unemployment will easily cover my $254.00 a month car payment. Not too shabby...