Potatohead Rumors

Now that Potatohead has officially accepted his severance package and taken the coward's way out (wise choice), Shoelaces and I have been coming up with a colorful variety of rumors about him. This place is a giant rumor mill here. Employees love to hear fresh dirt on their coworkers past or present.

My personal favorite is one Shoelaces invented. He's been telling people here at work that he saw Potatohead standing off to the side of the freeway selling boxes of oranges. Shoelaces does a convincing job telling that one to wide eyed employees. It's awesome. So far it's been a very popular rumor that's spreading quickly throughout the division.

I've been telling everyone Potatohead got a job working construction, digging ditches because that's all he could do. Usually I add in an extra juicy tidbit- his wife left him. But I only tack that on for the ladies. Not that any of them thought Potatohead was a studly man or anything. Quite the opposite. That's what makes it so amusing.

Someone else started one that goes something like this. After leaving here Potatohead got a job working an auto parts counter at Kragen. That's also a decent lie, but it might actually be close to the truth. One guy who keeps in contact with a former pet of Potatohead's (who was also laid off recently) told my source that he is in fact working auto parts. He's running a parts warehouse though. It's not retail which of course if it were would be ultimately humiliating for Potatohead. We're cooking up some even more rowdy stories about Potatohead just to see how many people will fall for them. It's going to be a good time.