Circus Of Greed Part One

During this past week at work I watched a construction crew build a massive tent city outside. Passing by in the hallways of Building 1 near the cafeteria I stopped to look out the windows where a circus style big top framework structure came to life. I was impressed with the speed the men out there were able to put it together. Canvas was hoisted up and draped over the framework of dull grey pipes. To me it seemed surreal.

Plan A was to have Huey Lewis And The News play our celebration gig for Bill and Dave's being split into two separate companies. Corporate didn't want to pay Huey, so they went with Plan B. A screwy carnival event. There were to be separate parties in the same venue. Dayshift would have one in the afternoon and we had ours on swingshift halfway into the night. I went, I drank beer, and I was truly disgusted with many of our employees.

Here's what happened. At the scheduled event time everyone jammed out of the production lines to the circus tents. There were two tents set up next to each other. The first one was where the event planners had a stage planted in the center of the tent. Around the perimeter of canvas walls a line of tables were placed with a rather weak selection of food and low grade beers. Hotdogs and giant pretzels appeared to be all that was offered. As far as a company beer bust is concerned, this was extremely weak. After scoping out the first tent I walked through a breezeway in the back to the second tent. As soon as I saw the mass of bodies and heard all the yelling I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Carnival style games were everywhere, you know like stuff you'd encounter at the county fair. Toss baseballs into a stack of bottles to knock them all down and win a prize. That sort of thing. Problem was, there was no money involved to play anything. All you had to do was stand in a line and wait your turn. If a person didn't win when their turn to take a crack at it came up, they'd just hop back in line and do it again. Nobody could lose. Employees were pushing each other and yelling with excitement. With a beer in my hand I walked to the only open spot I could find near a wall and I watched the frenzied chaos with contempt. None of the items being given away were really useful or worth anything as far as I could see. What was truly lame was the sheer greed of people. Some employees were barely able to walk around in the crowd because they were carrying so much crap under each arm. A few people had won five or six small black and white televisions. Made in China $9.95 specials that you could go buy at Wal Mart or Target or The Dollar Store. Probably. Why in the hell does anybody need half a dozen shoddy TVs?

Mingling through the crowd I noticed quite a few dayshift people showed up. They weren't supposed to be at the swingshift gig but that's how it goes around here. We have some employees that try to get over on the company or on their fellow coworkers at any opportunity. No matter what. So those folks were taking home double the amount of cheapo trinkets. More power to them, I guess.

Sickened by what I saw and completely disinterested in participating in any gaming I slid out of the Greed Room and cruised back to the first tent where the beers and grub were. A show was starting up on the stage. Moving to the front to see what was going on I bumped into Mr. Mo and Supertech. We yapped about how retarded the whole scene was and the three of us proceeded to drink beers. Meanwhile on stage a skinny contortionist girl appeared in a black skin tight bodysuit. She began doing some really strange shit. I don't remember which one of us suggested it now, but the three of us walked around to the back of the stage and watched the contortionist chick from there. I think it's safe to say we had a much more interesting position for viewing her show than the people did out front.

Downing a few more beers I suddenly realized it was time to hit the bathroom. I told Supertech and Mr. Mo I'd catch up with them later. I left the tent weirdness and walked into the cafeteria. The nearest bathrooms were just through the dining hall. Passing through doors and stepping into the vacant dining area I very nearly walked smack dab into a fortune telling booth. Nobody was around. I did a massive double take at the fortune teller. Sitting behind a desk with a turban on his head, a crystal ball in his hands, and wearing a flowing metallic dress was a dirtbag guy with a scraggly beard. He had bright red lipstick on and white facepaint. I had to stop myself from blurting out "What the fuck?" at him. The circus freak flinched a little from my reaction. I hurried past him headed for the restrooms.

I shoved my way through the heavy door into the bathroom and stepped up to take a long leak. Those beers were running through me. Just as I finished up my business and put myself back together, I was startled by a voice. Someone called me. I thought I was alone because when I walked in, there wasn't a sound from anyone in the stalls. I didn't see anybody, which made me nervous. Then I heard it again. In a whispering voice someone said, "Psst. Hey. Factory Peasant. Over here." I spotted Barley. He was peering at me with wide eyes from over the top of the last stall at the back of the bathroom. I cringed. This wasn't cool. I wanted to run for the door but before I could Barley said, "Come here. I got something to show you."

Oh no.