Asleep On The Toilet

We've known for some time that Abu has a habit of falling asleep on the job. He will sleep just about anywhere in the factory in plain view of everyone working here. What none of us knew is, in an effort to be slealthy Abu locks himself in bathroom stalls and he proceeds to fall asleep while he's sitting on the toilet. This afternoon Abu got a little bit of a surprise when he woke up slumped over against the handicapped railing in the crapper.

We have a group of developmentally disabled people (retards) working here on site doing menial tasks like sifting through trash and building simple assemblies. It's jobs that nobody else wants to do, so they perform the tasks for us. Here in our production division the retards are supervised well and taken care of. Other divisions have been somewhat lacking in their duties looking after them and they end up bouncing off the walls going haywire. The only time they get to roam wild and free here in this division is when their handlers release them to use the restroom.

There are three kinds of antics you can expect from the retards when they are set loose on the bathroom. I call them the three P's. There's The Poopers, The Pants Droppers, and The Peekers. The Peekers are harmless enough but a little unnerving. Those are the guys that catch you while you're trying to pinch off a brown tail in peace and they peek through the crack in the stall. Usually you'll hear a low, guttural laughing like "HURRRR HURRR HURRRRRR" and you'll look up to see a single eye peeping at you through the gap in the door frame. Nothing you can do about it really, maybe yell at them but it doesn't do much good. Next you have The Pants Droppers. Those are the tards that stand real close to you while you're taking a piss in a urinal. They undo their belt and unzip, then let their drawers drop to their ankles. With cock in hand they will turn to face you and holler "Helloooooo" and smile. And finally, there's the most infamous of the bunch. The Poopers. Those guys get into a bathroom stall and just blow it up. I mean, to these poor souls it's as if the idea of a toilet never existed. The Poopers will drop a turd square in the center of the stall floor, or worse.

I feel kinda sorry for our janitors.

Apparently during Abu's hours of blissful bathroom slumber, one of The Poopers used the stall right next to his. Abu's leg stretched out and drifted under the partition. I guess his foot was in the other stall being used by a Pooper, who was long gone by the time Abu woke up. They didn't actually take a dump on his foot (that would have been killer) but a log was placed rather precariously close to it. It freaked him out. He ran out of the restroom back to our production area and dragged Tet in there to check it out. Then Tet told the rest of us what happened to him. Abu is such a fool. Maybe next time he has to take a nap on the clock he'll choose a vacant conference room instead of the shithouse.