Living Donor

I am so depressed and confused right now.

Autumn made an announcement to me today that I was afraid might be coming soon. Not too long ago while I was spending a weekend at her apartment I discovered a package of medical paperwork sitting on her coffee table. When I asked her what it was about, Autumn told me there was an old guy on Craigslist that had recently placed an ad. He was desperate for a kidney. She went on to say that this person had a rare blood type making it unlikely he would find a suitable kidney donor before he died. Apparently he had been on dialysis for so long that his veins were collapsing. In order to clean out his blood the dialysis had to be placed into good sections of veins closer and closer to his heart. There is a risk of heart infection when dialysis treatment has been prolonged over extended periods of time. This was all news to me, I knew nothing about the subject. Her medical paperwork was for blood tests which she was going to go ahead and have performed to see if she would be a match. I couldn't believe it. Not to worry she said, she probably wouldn't be a close enough match, it was no big deal. I did worry though, and looking back on it now I'm starting to think that her story about blood chemistry was all bullshit. I suspect she wanted to do this from the moment she read that Craigslist ad.

Testing on her blood was completed this week and it showed she had a close enough blood chemistry to the man in need of a new kidney. She has chosen to be a living kidney donor and save the guy's life. This is an extreme act of kindness that I do not understand. I mean, if her younger brother suddenly had his kidneys fail and Autumn stepped up to the plate to save him, that I could understand. If Autumn decided to be a living kidney donor for a complete stranger who was a teenager or someone in their 20s I'd still have a difficult time with it but I could understand it better than giving a kidney to a grey haired man in his 50s or 60s. If you're going to make such an important sacrifice why not place it where it will do the most good? An older man seems like a poor choice for this. Compared to a teenager in need of a kidney transplant hasn't a man in his fifties lived long enough? Why save him? What's so special about this particular person? I don't get it.

I questioned Autumn for a long time. We sat in her livingroom and I hit her with every reason I could think of why she shouldn't do this. She easily brushed my feelings and concerns aside. When I asked about the risks to her health and possible complications Autumn rattled off medical statistics like she was a computer. She had an answer for everything I asked about so quickly that it was a little odd. Either she had spent a tremendous amount of time researching being a living kidney donor or someone had done a very thorough job coaching her on what to say if anybody didn't agree with her decision. Autumn said that on average, people who are living kidney donors have a longer life span than people with two fully functional kidneys. And she said life threatening complications from the operation are low. Still, I didn't want her to do it.

The conversation ended when Autumn plainly stated to me, "It's my gift to give." There was no further discussion. It was obvious that no matter what I might say to her on this matter she had already made up her mind to go through with it. She was going to donate a kidney and choose who to give it to. Period. No one would have any input. Autumn was also determined to make an altruistic statement by refusing to accept any payment for her kidney. I won't lie, when Autumn told me her plans I was angry and frustrated. It made no sense. Rather than use logic to solve problems and make decisions, Autumn was using her emotions. That doesn't work out too often.