Brad Tit

I first met Brad when he was a temporary employee hired in to work on a commercial program for a company called BioControl. I disliked Brad immediately. He was the classic annoying geek that everyone beats up in grade school. Short, kinda dumpy, pudgy, and he wears those little wire-rimmed glasses. The only thing missing is the pen pocket protector in his shirt. What really kills me about the guy is his last name. It's a part of the female anatomy or a favorite cut of meat from a chicken. You get the idea. Anyway I always call him Brad Tit. He doesn't like it much so I make sure to call him Mr. Tit every opportunity I get.

Brad never shuts his mouth. He always talks about computers and technological advances as if he was the person who invented them. Most of all though, he rambles on and on about cellular phones. Once he gets a way to work cellular phones into a conversation you can't shut him up about them. God damn is it aggrivating. The sound of his voice angers me. He's a US Coast Guard guy and I suspect Brad came from Oklahoma. He speaks with that southern Okie kind of drawl that I hate hearing. The other thing about Brad I notice is he hasn't adjusted well to civilian life yet. Whenever he talks about something with numbers he keeps saying "tack" in between the number sequences. At first I thought he was being extra weird but after a few days of him talking like that I had to ask what it was all about. Brad said that in the military when you're talking over the radio about number sequences you are supposed to say "tack" instead of "dash". OK. Big deal. We aren't the military so start talking like a normal human being, I told him.

Fortunately for me at the time Brad was brought in, he worked on commercial products only so he wasn't allowed into my area. If he was following me around the building yapping endlessly about cell phones I could always be rid of him by walking through the Closed Area doors and wave bye-bye at him through the windows. After some time TDS lost the BioControl contract and they let all the temps go. Brad included. I was happy about it because most of the people they brought in were fucked up. My supervisor even confided in me shortly after they were let go that she had been unimpressed with all of the temps.

Months went by, and my supervisor tried unsuccessfully to hire more people for our programs in the Closed Area. Brad Tit was an unpleasant memory fading from view. First, she had only three open job positions. Then overnight it became six. I kept hearing rumors that people they tried to hire in either failed the drug test or had found better job offers. It's no wonder to me why they keep losing out on potential new hires. The salaries they offer are some of the weakest I've ever seen. In desperation, my boss went back to the temp agency and made some offers to bring in their people full time permanent. I found out about it almost right away.

I was in my boss' office with her one afternoon and she told me she hired someone new. She was excited. When I asked about the person, who they were and such, she said it was one of the temps we had on BioControl. I had a bad feeling about this. I guess I was visably disappointed. Then she really dropped the bomb on me and told me the new hire was Brad Tit. My eyes rolled back in my head and I choked. Then I said, "I know it doesn't matter now because you've already hired him, and you didn't ask for my opinion, but I think that guy is a knucklehead." My boss was irritated. She said Brad had come highly reccommended and that he already had a DoD security clearance. Aha, I thought. That's the real reason she's bringing him back, she can get him cleared for the Closed Area quickly. This was coming from the same woman that told me she was unimpressed with all the temps. Fuck me.