Little Stoners

Dangerous D the romantic player had himself another hot date this past weekend. This time the girl was from Sonoma. I guess she was a score off his internet chat room action. Late in the afternoon D hobbled through the front door with girl in tow. When I saw her I had to fight the urge to bust up laughing right in front of the two nitwits. She was midget sized just like Dangerous D, plain as hell wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Her hair wasn't done up and she hadn't bothered to put on any makeup. What really caught my eye and made me want to laugh was, she is a Mouthbreather. A Mouthbreather is a person that happens to be so stupid that they don't know how to breathe in air through their nose. So they leave their jaw hanging wide open and breathe that way which makes them look like they have down syndrome, or they just stepped out of a prehistoric cave into daylight for the first time.

Once again D set up their evening of entertainment around cowboy cold Coors Light beers and a crummy videotape. They did however mix things up a bit by frequently sneaking into the back yard like a couple of junior high school criminals to smoke a few bowl loads of weed. I kinda suspected that the only reason Ms. Mouthbreather was here in the first place was to get smoked out for free. That she did, and plenty. Shortly after dark I walked into the livingroom to discover both dorks had passed out cold with their movie still running. At either end of my couch was a little stoner completely unconscious, sitting upright. They were held in place only by cushions and an arm rest.

Both of them remained there passed out like that all night. I laughed at them every time I walked through to get to the kitchen. Next morning Dangerous D had to drive the Mouthbreather back to Sonoma because she didn't have her own vehicle. I think she is a close match for D and they should get married as soon as possible. They're perfect for each other.

D's vegetable dehydrator is now a hazardous biological waste generator. He hasn't used it for any food items in weeks. I'm happy about that because the house no longer smells like freshly cooked rot. The inside of his machine is filled with brightly colored mold colonies. Contamination that severe is truly a sight to behold. I try to avoid getting anywhere near that dehydrator when I'm in the kitchen. Just looking at it might give me the AIDS. The only way to properly clean an abomination like that now would be to burn it. I'm curious to see if he's going to put a new round of vegetables in there as is and then patiently wait to see if he dies from a ruthless form of food poisoning. I can only hope.