10.30.1998

Buddy of mine was murdered recently. Happened on a weekend while he was working for his boss at his home. I think he was doing some construction work for the guy when someone, nobody knows who, came through the place with guns blazing. Shot his boss execution style once in the head and then evidently the unknown assassin caught up inside the house with my pal and totally overkilled him. Ten bullets through his body. The memorial service is tomorrow night. Jay and I are going to drive over there for the 'doins and then afterward head to San Francisco to see The Cramps play at the Warfield. I haven't seen them play since Halloween 1988 at The Fillmore. I had tickets to see them there again Halloween '89, but that pesky earthquake wrecked The Fillmore and the show was cancelled. Since I was in high school I've made a yearly tradition out of seeing The Cramps live in San Francisco either on New Year's Eve or on Halloween. Jay and I are meeting Autumn and her friend Leslie at the show. It's going to be a strange and interesting evening.

Seeing Autumn has been super cool. She's extremely intelligent. Much more than Jennifer ever was. She's better in bed than Dara or Jennifer, as well. I'm constantly daydreaming and comparing the old girlfriends with the current one. I don't know why I do that other than it's fun to think about. It's been about a month since Autumn and I became involved with each other. During the week I don't get to see her since she works on dayshift in San Francisco. I work in the North of the bay at night. So we see each other on weekends only. I've enjoyed the time I have been spending with her immensely. Seems like when I'm with her it puts me at ease with the world and I feel comfortable going out to do the most insignificant and unimportant things with her. I just like being around her.

Jennifer never really was very good to me, and it put a serious zap on my headspace. I mean, mentally it really screwed me up. Dara didn't do much to help me out either even though she was kinda fun, but Autumn sure as hell has made things much better for me. I feel more confident again and I'm more at peace with myself than I have been in many years. I hope I can return the favor for her. Sometimes I look back and wish I had done this with Autumn years ago and I have to admit there were a few times I certainly wanted to, but the opportunity never really showed itself. She was moving around alot back then for school. East Bay, Southern California, Indiana, Russia, and who knows where else. I'm just happy as hell she's back and I hope she stays with me for a while.