Thinking About Jennifer
I have never been able to bring Jennifer to orgasm when I'm inside her. Ever. It makes me feel like I'm less of a man for it. As time goes on I am more insecure and unsure of myself. In the past I have become so frustrated with Jennifer for not wanting to have sex with me that I would be verbally abusive to her. She in turn, would be upset and some of the time got revenge on me by holding back having any sex with me for even longer periods of time. I guess that gave her a sense of power which made her feel better. I know for a fact now she's been doing this because she admitted it to me recently. In any case holding out on me was probably really easy for her to do. She seems to have alot of problems in the bedroom. I'm almost convinced that she doesn't like having sex at all and I have no idea why. She won't talk about it and believe me I've asked numerous times over the years.
Since I can't work anything out with her our relationship will ultimately fail. I'm tired of trying to figure out what's wrong and rectify the situation. I've thought of everything I can do, everything I could say. Jennifer has never told me anything about what I can do in the bedroom that she really likes. She's always left me guessing. I'm not a mind reader. Well, there's some things she likes, but I'm totally bored by them or I hated doing these things in the first place.
There's a routine I have to follow in the bedroom every damn time we have sex that's so boring. I have to stimulate Jennifer in a couple of certain ways. First, when she is naked she likes to lie down on her stomach and have me very lightly touch her back. I gently use my fingertips to brush her skin. After a while my arm starts to fall asleep and my shoulder aches. To try to keep the pain down I started touching her on the insides of her legs and across her ass. Sometimes I use both arms or alternate from one to the other. It's very tedious, unarousing, and generally weak. On a number of occassions I started to fall asleep.
After doing this for a long time and if I'm still awake, Jennifer will roll over onto her back and let me put my fingers inside her. Or I'll notice she's become wet while still on her belly and I'll rub her clit. I usually bring her to climax this way. Then she will let me climb on top of her and do my dirty business. That's the way she seems to act about it anyway. It's real fun. While I'm inside her she acts like she's asleep. Her eyes are closed most of the time and she becomes extremely quiet as if she is trying to hide. Seldom will she breathe deeply and it's even more rare that she will make any kind of racket. Most of the time she remains silent.
Jennifer doesn't like to experiment with different sexual positions at all, which is the worst. It takes the variety and excitement out of making love. It's so boring I've got to the point with her where I'm having a difficult time getting an erection when I'm in bed with her. I think it's a combination of not having anything new to look forward to, and mentally I find myself thinking about how inadequate I must be. It's terrible. More often I find myself interested in looking at other women as they pass me by on the street, or when I'm in a store or wherever I happen to be. I think about old girlfriends like Jacinda, whom I always had a great time with in bed. That crazy little red head sure loved to fuck. No matter where Jacinda and I were, what time of day or night, she wanted me. That was a good thing. With Jennifer it's always been the exact opposite. I've always had to expend a great amount of effort to coax her into doing something with me that she just doesn't seem to want to do. I think she only has sex with me just to shut me up. I feel rotten.
Since I can't work anything out with her our relationship will ultimately fail. I'm tired of trying to figure out what's wrong and rectify the situation. I've thought of everything I can do, everything I could say. Jennifer has never told me anything about what I can do in the bedroom that she really likes. She's always left me guessing. I'm not a mind reader. Well, there's some things she likes, but I'm totally bored by them or I hated doing these things in the first place.
There's a routine I have to follow in the bedroom every damn time we have sex that's so boring. I have to stimulate Jennifer in a couple of certain ways. First, when she is naked she likes to lie down on her stomach and have me very lightly touch her back. I gently use my fingertips to brush her skin. After a while my arm starts to fall asleep and my shoulder aches. To try to keep the pain down I started touching her on the insides of her legs and across her ass. Sometimes I use both arms or alternate from one to the other. It's very tedious, unarousing, and generally weak. On a number of occassions I started to fall asleep.
After doing this for a long time and if I'm still awake, Jennifer will roll over onto her back and let me put my fingers inside her. Or I'll notice she's become wet while still on her belly and I'll rub her clit. I usually bring her to climax this way. Then she will let me climb on top of her and do my dirty business. That's the way she seems to act about it anyway. It's real fun. While I'm inside her she acts like she's asleep. Her eyes are closed most of the time and she becomes extremely quiet as if she is trying to hide. Seldom will she breathe deeply and it's even more rare that she will make any kind of racket. Most of the time she remains silent.
Jennifer doesn't like to experiment with different sexual positions at all, which is the worst. It takes the variety and excitement out of making love. It's so boring I've got to the point with her where I'm having a difficult time getting an erection when I'm in bed with her. I think it's a combination of not having anything new to look forward to, and mentally I find myself thinking about how inadequate I must be. It's terrible. More often I find myself interested in looking at other women as they pass me by on the street, or when I'm in a store or wherever I happen to be. I think about old girlfriends like Jacinda, whom I always had a great time with in bed. That crazy little red head sure loved to fuck. No matter where Jacinda and I were, what time of day or night, she wanted me. That was a good thing. With Jennifer it's always been the exact opposite. I've always had to expend a great amount of effort to coax her into doing something with me that she just doesn't seem to want to do. I think she only has sex with me just to shut me up. I feel rotten.
posted by factory_peasant at 11:46 AM
1 Comments:
While I understand what yer sayin' Wad, there were a couple of other things going on at that time which I didn't understand. Some couples are more compatible sexually than others. Jennifer and I were just a plain bad mix in the bedroom but I couldn't figure that out until many years later. The other thing... I was completely obsessed with this girl and lost track of alot of stuff. I was going mental because of all the pressure and frustration then.
You shall see...
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