No Kids, No Marriage

This past weekend left me with the feeling I still need another day off from work. Saturday was a total bust. Autumn volunteered to watch her little niece for most of the day because her brother and sister-in-law needed a break. It's cool of Autumn to help them out, but the weekends are really the only time Autumn and I have to spend together. It's due to our opposing work schedules and the fact that we live fifty miles apart from each other. I don't mind it when Autumn's niece is around, actually. I don't like most kids but this one is actually pretty good. Most of the time anyway. It's fun to watch Autumn interact with a child. She does an outstanding job. Very attentive almost to the point of doting on the kid. I think she would make a great mother someday. When I brought that up with her, she felt the exact opposite. Like she'd be the world's worst Mom. Autumn doesn't want to have children, ever. Or get married. I don't understand it.

If we're still together in the next couple of years I sure hope she changes her mind at least about the marriage part because Autumn is the best woman I've been with. I'm not clear on what it is concerning marriage she's so weird about or opposed to. For me, I've always thought of marrying the woman I'm in love with. It's the ultimate goal. I mean, I'm at least open to the idea and I always assumed someday I would end up happily married. Children I'm not so sure about at times. I think about being a Dad on occasion. Doesn't seem like it would be too harsh. Then I go somewhere like a grocery store and I see children at their worst. Screaming and crying about the most insignificant things being horrible tyrants for all to hear. It's those times that I say to myself, "No fucking way am I gonna have one or two of those brats." But, I know someday I could be a father and I'm okay with that. Maybe.